Why men have it harder than women
Being a man in today’s world is difficult
As I am continuing my journey through this ever-expansive road to the life I want to live, I am continuing to learn more and more what it takes to be a high value man. Luckily, I have access to a small social circle of females to go out with…ironically, it’s the social circle that belongs to a moderately attractive girl that I rejected sexually roughly a year ago. With a combination of coming into my 30s in roughly a year, being in the best shape of my life, and making more money than I’ve ever have, I’ve noticed I’m looking at situations/life through a different lens. That coupled with being fortunate enough to have enjoyed the company of a good amount of women, I’ve noticed some things that I would like to share with you about the true nature of a man’s life.
Access to Sex and Relationships
Obviously, this topic has many layers. But bear with me as I explain my thought process for what I believe is a main contributor to a what Joe Rogan coined as “men live in quiet desperation”.
Through the years I’ve had the benefit of having a group of girls to go out with the bars in both college and even now. I often there them converse about their male problems…..”Joey hasn’t hit me up in a week”……and the “That guy was too nice so I didn’t sleep with him”…..made me realize one thing. While listening to these brainless conversations my own internal dialogue often says, “Shit these females have a lot of dudes in their life must be nice to be able to have access to sex and validation whenever you want”. On the other hand, even if you are a 6’4 absolute Chad, you still don’t have the options available to a mediocrely attractive female does.
To conclude, all a woman has to do is step outside her house to find a sexual partner who will provide the attention and validation that every human craves. On the other hand, your average man is having exponentially less sex than their female counterparts as proven by this study here which can lead to a life of anxiety/depression. The ease of access to sex that females are exposed to allows them to combat the feeling of ineptness, being unwanted and lack of companionship men of this generation experience every day.
Before we get into the next topic, its not that men in general are having less sex. Its that women are choosing to have sex with the top 20% of men. This is due to multiple factors, as in social media, availability of options due to the smart phone, etc. To quote from this article:
According to a study entitled Tinder Experiments II: Guys, unless you are really hot you are probably better off not wasting your time on Tinder — a quantitative socio-economic study, “the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men.” This data almost precisely matches the Pareto distribution. The study elaborates to point out the fact that this means that “the Tinder economy has more inequality than 95.1% of all the world’s national economies.” As illustrated by these two studies, if you’re a guy on Tinder, the odds are not on your side.
https://usustatesman.com/economics-of-dating-2-the-brutal-reality-of-dating-apps/
So let’s get into what men have to do to get to that top 20%.
Men are objectified on a much high level then women are
Men unfortunately have the “burden of performance”. What does this mean? A women’s value is often directly correlated to her beauty and youth. Before I get the, oh that’s such a misogynistic thing of you to say, take a quick scroll through Instagram or ask yourself if Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie…etc would be where they were if they weren’t gorgeous. Since we have that settled let’s move forward.
Instead of beating around the bush, let me give you the straightforward answer. As a man you need to have success, money, power, influence, health, intellect, aesthetics, stoicism, style, and the list goes on. My answer is exactly this, a man has to complete in dozens of ways whereas I can literally count on less then one hand where women have to compete. See below for simplified graphic. The blurred text next to the and is “virtually everything else”.
What can men do to reach these unattainable standards?
Being patient, as grinding in putting your head down and working hard alongside being consistent is literally the key to becoming a high value/top tier man. Not being distracted with a girlfriend, wife, kid’s, and toxic people is another important step. As the saying goes,” The road to success is a lonely one”. If you are a man who has any ambition whatsoever, you should understand that having a girlfriend, wife, or kids in your 20s is a major hindrance.
Royce @ thedailynook@gmail.com
This is much easier said than done, but essentially its something that you hear often….its called the “grind”. Focusing on your goals, physical fitness, career, and education are some of the steps. Some people will say, I can do all of those that sounds easy. On paper it sounds like a cake walk but let me paint a better picture.
Coming out of college I was broke, in a ton of debt and was making a take home salary of 3000 dollars a month. That was at the age of 23 years old. The only thing that allowed me to have a somewhat fun life is the fact that I’m 6’4, had a great social circle, and from what other people have told me…attractive. Despite being in a constant financial struggle life was alright, but my female counterparts had it much much better. Especially the beautiful ones. Even though they were for the most part in the same financial situation I was in, but they were going on yachts, enjoying bottle service every weekend, going on expensive trips, amazing dinners and had the nicest clothes on….all financed by a man that did exactly what I am telling you what to do in the previous paragraph. What did these women have to do to have this lifestyle exactly? Its simple, they were just beautiful and that’s it.
Being patient, as grinding in putting your head down and working hard alongside being consistent is literally the key to becoming a high value/top tier man. Not being distracted with a girlfriend, wife, kid’s, and toxic people is another important step. As the saying goes,” The road to success is a lonely one”. If you are a man who has any ambition whatsoever, you should understand that having a girlfriend, wife, or kids in your 20s is a major hindrance. Further, it will set you back exponentially due to the associated financial burden and inability to take risks, such as moving to a different city for a better career opportunity. Speaking from experience, I am about to hit my 30s making six figures. I am also in great shape since I take nutrition and exercise very seriously. I have not only noticed that my options have opened, but when I go out with friends, I receive attention from beautiful young girls……. the same kind of girls I never had a chance with when I was fresh out of college. Life is getting better and I’m honestly looking forward to getting older since I am only now seeing the fruits of my labor/sacrifices. But, it has taken me 6 years to get to this point.
Remember life as a man is tough, but if you do the work and stay on your path it will get better. There are no shortcuts, it is simply hard work and willpower. My life so far is a testament to that.
If you have any additional questions, please reach out to thedailynook@gmail.com or leave a comment on this post.