Why Men are Lonely and Depressed
Men’s issues aren’t a priority to modern society and the government. As men we are constantly judged on our failures, achievements, resources, ability to provide, mental fortitude, and the list goes on. We have a crisis in the United States, where the health and mental health of men have been put in the back burner apparently since masculinity is toxic. The same masculinity that won wars, built this country, built the railroads, built the skyscrapers, built the bridges, won the revolution, etc is now looked down upon.
I’ll be diving into this topic, then I’ll get into a solution on how men can make their lives bearable and livable into today’s day and age
Men aren’t appreciated anymore
Not even 50 years ago, a man was praised for going to work and supporting his family. That was good enough since the world was actually affordable, and you could buy a normal house for only three times your yearly salary. This has now gone up to seven times your yearly salary. Governments and political interference in the economy has made it impossible for men to support themselves and their families, making it much harder for men that are working just as hard as their 1970s counterparts. The expectations have gone through the roof and ultimately, they are unsustainable. This is what is contributing to male depression. No matter what you do, unless you’re born into a well to do family in today’s modern age, you are destined for a grueling hard and difficult life that will only get better with a ton of hard work. That’s if you abide by societies standards of what men should be today.
Men are demonized
Toxic masculinity is a new buzzword, which literally deems men in general as the reason for all the problems in our modern age. Even though men have been doing the same thing, working just as hard, and doing just as much as the men who lived thousands of years before them, in today’s world it is now deemed “toxic”. Men are checking out and are deciding to do what they want to do. This can take the form of not dating, escaping into the ever expanse of video games, or even in the worst-case suicide which is extremely higher among men when compared to women. Men find it even harder to obtain jobs since feminism, which was an honorable movement 70 years ago, since the pendulum has swung so far in the opposite direction where men are suffering in the job market and in the sphere of higher education.
Men are checking out of the dating market
Birth rates are declining in all modern countries, most men are not having intimate relationships, and men are opting out of marriage at a high statistical rate. Women’s standards for men have become unrealistic due to factors that are completely out of the hands of your average person. Women still expect the six figure income. I’m not talking about the simple 100,000 a year, Instagram and tik tok reals show that women are expecting 200,000 a year even 500,000 a year in the most ridiculous circumstances. What do men get out of that relationship in return? It seems like the only thing being offered is access to intimacy. Society, consumerism, and American culture is making up these ridiculous standards for men. This in turn is the cause of the loneliness problem. Yes, men can have their male friends, but at the end of the day every man and women want a relationship and marriage. Intimacy is important and is amazingly important for both men and women in terms of happiness and purpose. Unfortunately, the media and social media have completely crushed this dream for most women and men
What’s the solution?
First, check out of societies unrealistic expectations of you, do what makes you happy within reason. To summarize, do what makes you happy in a responsible sense, don’t ignore being productive or your responsibilities. What have I come to terms with that resonates with most men? As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized family and a sense of belonging for men is extremely important. Men want to be part of a tribe and motivation to get up every day to fight the battles we face on a daily basis. Surround yourself with your buddies, live with your best friend and take care of each other, try to exercise, and most importantly have goals to give you a reason to get up every day. As men we have to lean on other men, being mentors, friends and family to help keep us off the ledge. Society tells you to live by yourself, be independent and live on your own, this is the lie we’ve been sold. Men need a community and tribe to belong to, this is how we lived for 1000s of years and it worked. Men need to help each other out and bring each other up. You need something else to live for but yourself. This can be a dog, your best friend, your sibling or any important sentient being in your life. Life is hard for us guys, but don’t fall into the trap that society has been selling us. It is okay to be codependent on friends and family while you pursue your goals, aspirations and career goals. Don’t let anybody tell you anything different.
I hope you enjoyed this one. I’ve been dealing with issues of my own, thisnis the reason I haven’t written anything in a while. If you want me to write about something, email me at thedailynook@gmail.com. I plan on working on a ton of articles in the future. Stay safe out there and continue to motivate yourself on a day-to-day basis.